Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
