$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
