omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
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I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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