If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
