im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
