Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
