I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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