I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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