This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
