It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
