I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
