Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize