in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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