I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
