Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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