A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
