Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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