Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
