Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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