Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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