Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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