Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
