Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
