He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Randomize
