Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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