my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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