Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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