hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
