Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
