I want to walk on stilts...naked
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
my poor anus
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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