i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
