i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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