i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Naked. naked and bneed help.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
