i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
