please come you make the beer taste better
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
