I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
