Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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