Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
