How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
