The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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