Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
