soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize