I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
