So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize