he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize