I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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