No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
jump out the window naked night went bad
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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