Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
