yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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