I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
