its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
