i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
how drunk are you?
Several
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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