Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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