I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize