I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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