I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize