I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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