An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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