What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
