Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
