the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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