Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize